the baloon is over my hands

I dont know what love is.

Am I love you for reasons? But I can’t find those. Or Am I really love you? Is this love or not? when I’m thinking over it. I still get no answer. What I feel is, I want you to beside me. For quite a long life. No matter whats happen, and I could see you and take care of you. I Starts wondering, if you feel the way that I feel. Asking to myself, are you going to happy as I am. But I get no answer.

It is so happy, when I remember about the past. When you talk to me to get what your point, take care of me when we was going out...hmm. it all so nostalgic. I want to say deeply sorry, that i never understood. It was my mistakes. I get too exited in some stuff. I cant feel yours. But trully, i feel those now, and missing you so much.

But now, you’re not here. Dont you? Far away from where I am.
Could we make this out?or this is another task from God for making me more patient and calm to live a life? I guess the answer will comes out soon. I hope..